Ho Ho Ho!! Xmas is nearly here yay!!

Well, despite my sister trying everything in her power to ruin Xmas for us, I think it's gonna be a good one! Despite my efforts to try and bring her home for Xmas (for my mum & nan's sakes - believe me, I wouldn't care if I never saw her again), she sent Mum a letter saying she wasn't coming "because she couldn't get a lift" - as both me and dad have offered lifts that's total bull & has convinced me that when I made the decision all those months ago to wash my hands of her, that it was the right one! Now, I anticipate a few "she'll always be your sister, you'll regret that decision one day" comments, but seriously guys, she deserves everything she gets - she's a complete waster - she had a better start in life than both me and my brother and she completely messed up her chance and has never even tried to get back on her feet. Xmas will be better without her.

So yay, anyway, I've just finished wrapping presents, I've got 2 very interesting packages from the love of my life - looking forward to opening them!

Not much else really to report - all that remains to say is happy holiday everybody - eat, drink, be merry!!

Are my blogs getting more and more depressing or is it just me? One more I'm afraid & I will make it my new years resolution to keep my blogs as happy as possible.

Xmas - a time for family, friends, love etc etc, right? I don't do the religious side, I don't believe in the birth of jesus - for me, Xmas is a day to show your appreciation to the ones you love. Some of you may know my sister is a "problem". She moved away suddenly 3 months ago and we've barely heard from her since, which has left my mother and grandmother very upset (despite this sort of behaviour going on for the last 4 years, she's always been around for Xmas) - so I did the sisterly thing and offered to drive the 3 hour journey to Gillingham to bring her home for Xmas and take her home after new year - to keep the peace, to keep my nan and mum happy. & it was thrown back in my face; no way was she coming back and what's more, she phoned my dad to tell him I was harassing her - harassing!?!? I haven't spoken to her since she left!! How's that for gratitude? It amazes me how different we are.

Then there's my best mate and yep, this is gonna sound seriously selfish & greedy - I spent a substantial amount on her this year because she's had a bad one, despite coming into £12,000 of compensation money. We exchanged gifts today - I hand over a big heavy box - the box I get is no bigger than the palm of my hand - hmm... not impressed!!

My fella, bless his heart, works weekends/holidays in his sister's shop which means he'll be up at 4:30am tomorrow and Xmas eve & I won't be seeing him on Xmas day thanks to my "delicate" family situation so grrr... looks like we're doing the pressie swap tonight with his brother and dad there so can't say i'm happy about that either.

Yep, I'm in a serious BAH HUMBUG mood today & as it's the first time I'm meeting my fella's dad, I have to be on my best behaviour - no drinking, no "Sianisms" - nothing that can be held against me... grrr

Happy holidays everyone

Ok this is getting ridiculous! 10 days after I first started feeling ill I can't say I'm anywhere near 100%!! I admit, I'm better than what I was - overdosing on cough syrup, flu remedies, decongestants, medicinal snuff and painkillers seem to have killed off most of whatever was ailing me but I'm still sniffing and coughing and talking like a nerd!!

Update on my special week then!!

The meal went great - because it took so long to be brought to the table we got a full refund - woohoo! Said money was then wasted on pool and drinks in the pool hall across the street - we played pairs (firstly as couples then as girl vs boys) & out of 6-7 games, I only lost 1 yay!! I'm not a good pool player, not even close, but I am a jammy cow & fluked my way to a win several times

I had 2 Xmas parties on Friday - the work one went ok, lots of drunk civil servants (which I can't handle) meant I left after 2 hours. The evening party, with my best mate, lasted a lot longer, but I was playing babysitter for my dear friend who cannot handle her wine!! Walking at snail's pace at 1:30am through Cardiff city centre in freezing conditions with blistered feet from new shoes that are too big is NOT advisable!!

Anyway, onto happier news! This weekend I met my potential mother-in-law! Ok, my fella and I are nowhere near walking up the aisle (if he gets his way, we never will - not one for marriage, my fella) but you never know and first impressions stick!! What a lovely lady!! I assumed she'd be joining us for lunch, but she'd set her dining room up to be a little love nest! Big cushions on the sofa, candles on the table, heart-shaped plates and heart-shaped butter, freshly baked bread, wine and Roy Orbison crooning in the background - I was overwhelmed by the effort she'd gone to, my fella was dying with embarrassment.

We had a lovely meal then joined his mother for a chat - I think we got on well - she shares my passion for animal welfare and seemed to enjoy showing off her 3 beautiful cats. Quite honestly, I was very nervous about this meeting - the main reason my ex and I broke up was because of his mother; she didn't like me, didn't think I was good enough & gave him a "her or me" ultimatum 2 years down the line - no girlfriend can ever replace a mum, particularly when said ex was a huge mummy's boy! I couldn't go through that again - as if a break-up wasn't hard enough, being told how much you're loved in one breath followed by "but it'll never work because of my mum" is a killer. Still, look at me now! Things have definitely worked out for the best. The saying is very true, where one door closes another opens!!

I'm a big believer in fate, particularly as I'm finding that as I go through life I'm getting more and more comfortable with who I am and where I wanna be and I'm very very happy.

Xmas is near yay! I've almost finished my shopping which is some kinda record for me - I'm usually one of the flustered people in town on Xmas eve trying to find a shop with something resembling a decent gift!! I'm sitting here writing out my Xmas cards and plan on buying chocolates for my colleagues tomorrow!

Hope everyone's well xxxx

It's been nearly a week since my first cough, my first sniffle, my first "I feel yuck" comment of this illness and I'm getting worse!! What started out as a tickly cough and sore throat has evolved into a cough that a chain smoker would be proud of, a nose that's moonlighting as a tap, temperamental ears and eyes that just don't want to open! I think I may have a chest infection which, when you think about what's happening tonight, is not a good thing!!! & on top of that, it's the wrong time of the month so my stomach's cramping like there's no tomorrow!! What did I do to deserve this!?!?

Tonight is one of the biggest nights on my 2007 social calendar - ok, so it doesn't come near that week in June when I spent the week in Dublin to see Aerosmith/Chris Cornell with mates and spent the weekend in Chepstow to see Toby Jepson/Rattlesnake Remedy/Thunder with my fella and his mate, but it's pretty big! Tonight... me, my fella, my best mate and her fella are going out for a swanky meal followed by kick-ass pairs pool! My fella and I have been together 8 months & we've only ever gone out for a meal twice and neither times can exactly be called "swanky". This is a Portuguese restaurant and we're going to get proper dressed up!! I'm wearing my Julian McDonald designer halterneck top with black trousers and sequin jacket - how exciting!! Let's hope I manage to get this evil cough under control by 7pm tonight, otherwise I have no doubt the other customers will not be amused!!

Another major thing that's shocked me is my commitment to my job! Usually, I like having time off, I don't give the office a second thought & will take sick leave at the slightest sniffle. But day 3 into my sick leave, I've been desperate to go back! I've got so much work to do to such a short deadline and a photo competition to judge (which closed today) for my Codes! I feel completely and utterly useless!! & of course, the local doc has no appointments so I can't get any decent medicine - i've run out of cough syrup, the soluble tablets make me sick and the smell of food turns my stomach (tonight's gonna be hell)

I've been knocking on death's door for nearly a week... & they refuse to answer

Hey bloggers!

What a weekend! As usual, I spent it with the fella. His brother has now moved in with his sister because of a blazing argument they had on Thursday and his dad, who I was to meet for the first time, cancelled due to work commitments. Anyway, the first bizarre thing that happened was the nail on my little toe (left foot) came off!! I caught it on the sofa when I sat down (yep, I'm the sort of idiot who sits on her feet until the very uncomfortable pins and needles start) and ended up having to pull the whole thing off - yuck! There was a little bit of blood, but I was assured by my fella that he's done it loads & it'll grow back within 2 weeks. He was such a sweety, he even got me a little plaster to stop the bleeding!!

Anyway, we went to bed Saturday and all night I was getting up for a drink, coughing a lot etc. This resulted in waking up Sunday morning with a bad chesty cold!! My fella already had a slight cold & it'd seem his was much worse on Sunday too! We were up and tidying the house by 8:30 ready for a Sky engineer to come around and fit Sky+. By the time he left at 11:30, we were both at death's door - pale, coughing constantly, barely able to speak. & it's only got worse. I've had to call in sick today as not only am I coughing constantly, I now cannot speak without a scratchy squeaky noise grr & I've gone semi-deaf in my left ear - NOT GOOD! (I think this may be due to playing music a bit too loudly in the car this morning when I was picking some mail up from the Post Office rather than all because of the virus haha). What amazed me about the weekend was how well my fella looked after me. I always thought that we had more chemistry than compassion i.e. we get on really well, we understand each other but we're not really "there" for each other; it's only recently we've started sharing our problems. When you bear in mind he was just as, if not more, ill than me over the weekend, he was constantly getting me drinks of water, he made us lunch, he made sure I was warm all day, he even went to Tesco's to buy cough medicine bless! He refused any help that I offered and only stopped and snuggled up with me on the sofa under the duvet last thing in the evening where he fell asleep. Despite being ill, that weekend meant a lot to me.

Right from day 1 we had chemistry. We met on a voluntary programme - we were working with young unemployed people (16-25) trying to give them the appropriate skills to gain long-term employment. He's a youth officer, I was representing the Welsh Assembly Government as an employed advisor, so to speak. It was only 2 weeks into the course when the young people were "match making", asking us if we were single, whether we fancied the other, commenting everytime we were together (so what if we shared breaks, talked a lot, teamed up on challenges, sat next to each other at the dinner table etc - he was the only person with whom I had stuff in common!!) I didn't realise he was treating me any differently to anyone else (I say this because I DID treat him differently to the others because I didn't have anything to talk about with anyone else & I suck at small talk) but they picked up on it & when he agreed to attend the leaving party, nobody was surprised when we left together We decided to form a relationship just a week later.

As time passed, despite being happy and enjoying his company I was never sure where I stood. Sure, the sex was always great, we'd always have a laugh, but when it came to stuff like talking about feelings, he'd shut down (& I'm crap at instigating this stuff). That is why the last couple of weeks have been so great - he has been confiding in me and looking out for me and has made me feel like he's glad we're together!

I'm one happy bunny and despite both of our "soppy-phobia", I intend on telling him just how I feel over Xmas!! I do find this daunting, particularly when my friend told her boyfriend of over a year she loved him & he completely shut down and admitted he didn't feel the same - that would be like a knife in the heart & although they are still together, I'm not sure I could be so strong (despite my advice to her being if you enjoy each other's company, what difference does it make - do as I say, not as I do!)

Fingers crossed for me!! xxx

Crikey it’s been a while since I blogged! To be honest, this is because barely anything has been happening!

Things with the fella are better than ever – meeting his parents on the weekend (after 8 months, it’s about time!) We’re going on a double date with my best friend and her fella on Wednesday to a gorgeous characteristic restaurant called Nando’s and then on for a few games of pool and drinks. He’s even trusting me to drive his rust bucket car back home so he can have a few drinks (I prefer not to drink when I’m out, so if anything happens I’m fully aware of my actions). The weird thing is I think we’ve been brought closer over a common lack of patience for his brother!

I may have mentioned his brother has temporarily moved in with him before emigrating to Australia in January. His brother is the strangest person I’ve ever come across – despite being 29 he acts like a teenager; despite having a well-paid job, he never has any money; despite booking a flight to Australia, he doesn’t seem to have planned any further than that! I can’t decide whether he’s brave or naïve! A bit of both, maybe! We get on ok most of the time. Last night we actually fell out over his supposed lack of compassion for animals of any nature – he announced that he wouldn’t swerve should a sheep or other animal be in the road (he said he’s done this several times before but with no dents on his van, this was probably more to get me rattled) and that when he gets to Aus, he’s going to look for work shooting vermin e.g. kangaroos. I’m sure we’ll both miss him when he’s gone but he is absolutely impossible to live with!!!

Time for some good news? Ok – my work is likely to feature in the news over Xmas – our press office want to publicise the Codes of Practice I’ve been working on as they will be out for consultation over the festive season – go me!!

Only 17 weeks and 5 days until I start my Wildlife OCN course – it’s coming around very quickly, I’m very excited as you can imagine!

I haven’t seen Pippa the hedgehog lately; she should have started hibernating by now so I can only pray that she’s survived, stored enough fat to get through the winter etc. I will be absolutely elated if I see here in the spring!!